I am not one to pour my whole life out. I feel no need to throw a little box of words filled with sunshine or perhaps thunder, depending on where my heart is, into someones small life. I figure that they've already got enough rain pouring on them and have no need for more, or that their life is bursting from all the excitement happening in their own souls that they have no more room for more joy and butterflies to be thrown in. But that's okay.

People need to talk. Most at any rate. It's their way of relieving stress and sharing happiness.
They talk over a cup of coffee, during a dinner, and most of their day is spent talking on a phone.



Some might even talk to walls -- they just need to get it out.

Sometimes the words they speak are calm. Just a friendly chat. Nothing hectic in their voice or emotions. It's a smooth serenade. Something you don't hear in the business world where it's always "argue, fight, and win".



And then there are other times.
The emotions are strong. The words might be bitter. Not bitter towards you, but you just happen to be the best friend that hears all of the ranting.
Tired of it Best Friend? Don't be. You better buck up, because you've got a lot of steaming kettles coming your way in the future.



How do I know? It's just plain nature.
We're humans. We have emotions. We need to cry and sometimes just yell.
No funny faces or comments, Best Friend, because you do it too.


Me? I don't speak a lot. I don't come home from an event excited to tell everyone about what happened, or distressed and needing to spill everything out on a bed with a friend. Perhaps every once and a while I have done such a thing. But to tell you the truth, I don't have any memory of myself doing a thing like that. That's where living with many people comes in handy though. If you can't remember what happened, chances are that they probably do.

Reading the above paragraph probably makes you think that I have no emotions. And if so, let me say that you've been tricked.
I have emotions. Lots of them. Every minute and every hour is different.
"But if you don't talk a lot then how can you get your emotions out?" you're asking?
That's an easy answer...

Tears.



Many many tears I've cried. I'm sensitive, and everything that I feel ends in tears.
Joy, anger, fear, confusion, and every other emotion and feeling makes me cry.
Another thing besides crying that comes out of me is laughter.
Sometimes I laugh for a long time, and then it turns into this weeping-but-still-laughing thing. The first time that happened someone asked me if I was okay. My answer?
"I don't know. I just -- I don't know!"
I really didn't know. And I still don't know.
That same person who asked me if I was okay, later told me something God told her. I can't remember if it was through a dream or maybe just some alone time with Him, but He said to her that she would learn to cry from my crying...or something like that. I can't remember word for word, and when she told me I had no intention of writing it down because I thought she was making a weird joke of some sort.
She wasn't joking.


Through the years I've learned how to be a good listener. That's what my role is right now. It's what I became because I am quiet and the sister closest to me in age does her share of talking and needs someone to listen. So I listen happily.
It's a role that some have a hard time fulfilling. So I am thankful that my duty in being a good sister that listens is not something that is difficult to fulfill.

So I listen, and I do speak. . .

I speak through tears and laughter.