I'm a planner.

I like to know what's happening -- what, where, when, why, who.

I'm the person that plans times to relax.

It doesn't work.

If I could, I would have my whole life planned. Every year, month, and day. Ridiculous? Perhaps. But I'm not the only person in the world who's like this.

There are even movies about people who are planners. In the movies this "plan-happy" person tries to live life by their own schedule, but it doesn't work.

It's when they figure out how to live life not by a constant calendar in their head, enjoying life moment by moment that they find "happiness" -- whatever that is.

But that's how Hollywood likes to end their stories... When everyone is happy and finally "normal".

I know people who can just, do something that wasn't a part of their original plans, and I seriously don't understand those people.

I can't just jump off of a train trestle because "Oh! That sounds fun, scary, and exciting -- let's go!"

And if I'm spending the night somewhere I like to know in advance so that I can be ready. I'm definitely not the type that can go somewhere and then decide to stay the night. I need my pajamas, my own toothbrush, and my familiar sweatshirt.

I like having things set in stone, and I like having a backup plan.

I'm not that "The moment's here so let's run!" type of person. I like planning my "moments". But yesterday -- I think it hit me. I will never be able to plan everything... after realizing that, I went into shock mode.

"Wait. I don't have control over everything? I can't plan every little detail?"

All of the sudden, my boat was rocked. And that was when I decided...

I really don't like having my boat rocked.

One thing I'm definitely planning on: going to Heaven

*insert: sigh of relief

I have that one "written down" in my mental calendar for Every.Single.Day. What can I say -- It's a big plan.

(At least that one's taken care of.)